Love is often the most aspired and cherished feeling every individual desires to have. The feeling of knowing that somebody loves, adores and cherishes the very essence of your being is the most joyous of all feelings. Every individual desires to be loved, although there are
many types of love but in this context we are going to as a matter of demand talk extensively on the love that exists between people in a romantic relationship. It is often said that love is being built, invariably it means that there are different stages of love .There are equally a healthy and unhealthy love relationships, the unhealthy aspect is detrimental while the healthy love relationship is fruitful and advantageous.
During the early stages of a romantic love relationship, there is a period of infatuation which involves persistent thought of the love subject and wanting to spend every minute with the individual in question.
Healthy love relationships grow and gets to a point where the infatuation sort of disappears to usher in friendship, commitment, respect, honesty and truthfulness for the other person. Healthy love relationship makes the individuals involved to feel and enjoy the impact and results of their love life together.
However, the love relationship can be turned into obsession by either of the love parties. It could be the male or the female being obsessed. In obsessive love the feeling of infatuation becomes extreme instead of fading with time. Obsessive love that is delusional is often a symptom of mental problems and occurs in a minimal percentage of adults.
These set of people having symptoms of delusional jealousy will often interpret their lover saying hello to a passerby or relating socially with a coworker as their partners being unfaithful and flirting. Women who suffers from delusional jealousy are often more obsessed with people who have played the role of helpers in their lives.
The fearful thing is that obsessive love can be violent, it could end up in the partner who is obsessed with the other using violence such violent behaviors includes beating, aggressive
behaviors and in extreme cases it could lead to killing of the person involved.
Just the other day I read a story of a young promising guy who pulled the trigger without hesitation on his girlfriend because of presumed but non- verified evidence that the girlfriend was cheating on him, i repeat its was not a verified act of unfaithfulness but presumption and then he loaded his gun and shot the life bullet into the heart of this promising young girl and wasted that precious life.
The above is what we call obsessive love disorder; every individual in a romantic love relationship should be at alert to detect when the love affair is heading towards the dangerous abyss of obsession. The feeling of insecurity could be a major contributing factor in obsession; another factor is lack of employment and business for the parties. There are so many signs of obsessive love disorders but for the purpose of these discussions we are going to discuss only 5 signs.
Signs of Obsessive love
- Delusional Jealousy
- Psychological control
- Extreme infatuation
Whenever a love affair is gradually tilting to a point of obsession the most obvious sign is delusional jealousy which is visible when the obsessed partner is disillusionally jealous.He gets irritated beyond reasons even when you try to associate casually with housemates or
even saying a normal” hello” to an ordinary passerby, the partner is mandated to explain where and how the passerby is related to him or her.
A person who is obsessively in love tends to possess addictive behaviors. The person is extremely addicted to their partner. For instance such a person always wants to spend extreme time with their partner. This means there is that feeling of being useless or not being able to do anything in the absence of their partners. They are addicted just the way an individual is addicted to alcohol cigarette and other drugs.They simply cannot do without their partners.
Psychological control is a form of social influence that is exerted on an individual using underhanded tactics. The process of psychological control involves bringing an unknowing victim under the manipulations of the other person. The obsessed lover tries to control
their partners psychologically either through deceits or manipulations of any kind but the point still remains that their partners are being controlled and manipulated; this can lead their emotionally abused and traumatized partner into depression and feeling of the unknown
Possessiveness:This is usually a sign that the obsessed is having a feeling of insecurity, here there is lack of strength and the tendency to see themselves as inferior and being so much afraid of losing their partner to people whom they consider to be more superior to themselves,at this juncture they begin to manifest the desire to control or dominate their partner especially in order to limit that persons relationship with others.Their partner seems like a material possession whom they can control and manipulate at will.
infatuation occurs at the start of every relationship but this does not last for a long time because its usually shed off in the long run and transformed into a very deep affection and love ,but you see in the case of obsessional love disorder this infatuation is so extreme. The person sees nothing else apart from the partner,note that this is often
mistaken for love but that not actually the case.
Treatment or therapy for obsessive love
The best treatment for this condition is psychotherapy for the individuals involved most especially when they are in a relationship.If the obsessed partner have already started manifesting threatening approaches towards the partner apprehension should be applied in order to save the individual from the worst case scenario.
Are you experiencing the above in your relationships and marriages.
After reading through this you must have been able to determine whether you are the obsessed or your partner is obsessed with you.